A very long nap...

At least that's what I'm choosing to call my absence.  Remember, I'm a cat.  It's part of my job to be fickle and leave you at my choosing.  Well, I thought I would update you that I am still around.  My taller slightly furrier litter box cleaner and some times food provider, keeps wishing I would just die already.  Little does he know, that according to my plan, that adds another year to my life.  I am preparing to celebrate my 18th birthday (I swear I will cut someone if they make me wear a birthday hat) and although I am starting to show my age, I still make being a cat look good.  Evidence as follows:

Finding the world's smallest sun spot on my deck

Umm, why aren't you rubbing my belly?

I have now assumed the belly rubbing position.  Please note the head flip.

Smile of bliss post belly rub

???

As I was giving my morning chorus, I found a peculiar white sheet of what the hairless cats call paper. There was something on it that resembled writing so I had it translated. This is what it contained:

Dear Somnos,

I have taken care of you now for the past thirteen years. It has not been an easy task but one that I have taken on with much love and care. When you were diagnosed almost a year ago with diabetes, I was heartbroken. I discussed my options with your doctor and decided to modify your diet rather than put you through injections twice a day. Shortly after your diagnosis, we moved to a new house.

I was pleasantly surprised by how well you did in the long car ride that spanned 2 days but things changed when we got to our new home. In the past, you would grace us with your songs in the spring. I always figured this was due to typical mating times. Now, you have become quite loud and regular with your meows. While I didn't mind in the past, I am now getting quite put off by them. I am asking nicely for you to abide by certain rules of the house, just like the rest of us do.

1. Please do not meow loudly between the hours of 1 am and 6 am.

2. If you have to let out some noise, keep it to one occurrence in a 24 hour period. This yowling 5-6 times a day for 5 or more minutes is not necessary.

3. I will be sure you have water, food, and a clean toilet before I retire for the day. In return, please keep your litter confined to your bathroom and not strewn about the entire house.

4. If you need something in the middle of the night, please let me know. However, laying on my head is not the way to go about getting your point across.

5. Please bathe yourself more often. You look a bit on the "crazy cat" side.

Thanks!

Your loving mother

I sat and let this sink in for a good 10 seconds. Then I had to take a nap since thinking is exhausting. Once I woke up, I did what any cat would do in this situation. I ate the paper then left my loving mother a nice smelly present in my box, followed by a chorus lasting nearly 10 minutes this time.

Damn it's good to be a cat.

Cat-ness

Cat-ness (n)- the daily purpose of living your life as a cat.

My cat-ness involves some general rules I have developed. I am still trying to train my caregivers but I'm hopeful they'll get it one day.

1. Keep my food bowl full and my water bowl at an acceptable level.

2. Tap water is okay for the average palate but I prefer bo

ttled or purified.

3. I like the volume level in my house low as to not upset m

y delicate hearing. Admittedly, I hear less and less but I refuse to succumb to this part of aging.

4. I like the litter in my box at a certain level. If it falls bel

ow said level, I am not responsible for my actions.

5. I like sleeping in certain areas. Do not disturb these

areas as I tend to become cranky when I can not find my normal perches.

6. Please only rub, scratch, or massage certain areas on my body. I will roll, contort, and stretch to show you where these areas are. I reserve the right to change preferences on a whim.

7. I do not like being dressed up so please, for the love of all

that is sacred, do not put that stupid Santa hat on me ever again!

8. Who you calling fat? I'm pleasantly plump. I worked hard for this amazing physique.

9. I'm not licking you or kissing you, I'm tasting you. Never know when I may want a snack.

10. I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for good opportunities. It isn't my fault they don't come along often.

Those are the main points to my cat-ness. I think you will find they are similar to many other felines. Then again, I'm not just any old cat.

Now leave me so I can rest!

On the seventh day, I rested...

and I rested on the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth too. I am a cat you know. We need our beauty sleep.

Now that I have returned from my hiatus, I am once again ready to share with you my world.

The weekend proved to be uneventful for me. I did my usual sleep, eat, and repeat. I was caught in the act of a rare activity for me as I climb the aging ladder. Here it is:

Yes, it's true. From time to time, I bathe myself. It doesn't happen often any more because well, I'm old. I prefer the aroma I worked so hard to spread all over my body to the effort I have to put in to washing my surfaces. Seriously. Take a good look at me. I am not your average sized cat. Not look at your body and think about only being able to wash it with your tongue. How often would you want to lick every inch?

This morning as I was preparing my blog I found these strange creature clinging to my kitchen window. They pretty much sum up my Monday morning.

The hairless cats were amused by these whatever they are. I could have cared less. Happy Monday!

The call of the wild

As I have gotten on in years, I find joy in the simple things in life. Napping, eating, and repeat. It has been recent though that I have taken up singing. I have gotten quite good at it. I especially love to practice in the wee hours of the morning. I find it makes me feel closer to my roots. I am part lion you know. Every now and then I put on a mini-concert during the day time hours. It doesn't have the same feel to it though. I recorded a brief sample.

I think I may take my act on the road. I am currently accepting applications for cooks, drivers, and personal assistants. Send me a message if your interested. I promise to pay you in shedding, vomiting hairballs, coughing, laying on you at night so you can't move, and tracking litter all over our domicile.

I also spend a good part of my day working on other things too. Here are a few of my favorite activities:

I eat, blog (of course), and sleep approximately 22 out of the 24 hours in a day:

It isn't easy being me.

Day One - I canz write too

I have decided to start this blog to have written documentation of my captivity. I am a flame point siamese cat living with 5 hairless cat-type beings. I am 16 years old and have been held captive for the majority of my life. Every now and then I venture outside to eat some grass. This seems to amuse the other beings that reside in my domicile. I reward them by making sure when I return indoors, that I vomit on one of their prized possessions.

I plan on documenting the aging process as it seems to have me perplexed. I have gotten lost at times and resort to screaming throughout the day and night. I do this to remind my hairless captors that I too live here and also because I wonder why they sleep so much.

Enjoy, if you can. *yawn*